Just when you think it's going well ...

I'm emotionally exhausted. Last Monday (2/2) my mom was admitted to the ICU at Lake Wales (FL) Medical Center and put on a ventilator. She had been sick and not sleeping a few days before, but dad finally got her to lay down and rest that Sunday night. But when he tried to wake her up the next day she was unconscious. They called the ambulance and off to the ER they went. Of course, she was admitted. Her blood pressure was 41/25. Yes, you read that right.

Anyway, my brother and I flew down to Orlando that night to be with Dad. Thank you so much, Cheryl for being my own personal travel agent. It is a joy to have friends like you who I can call in any circumstance and know that you will do everything in your power to help. I was also thankful to Lynn for taking over all of my work commitments. It was nice to be able to concentrate on mom and not worry too much about work (you know I will always worry a little!).

We arrived at the bus (aka, motor home) about 2:15a Tuesday morning. Later that day we got up to go see mom in the hospital. Seeing your parent(s) in that condition is just cruel. Well, seeing anyone in that condition is cruel, but especially those you love. The doctors originally diagnosed her with congestive heart failure, pneumonia, UTI and a "blood" infection. After about 48 hours in the hospital they finally said it was double pneumonia complicated by her COPD/emphaseyma and that she was septic from the infection.

It's been a week and she's still on the ventilator. She's holding her own though and I fully believe she will come out of this. It's just a matter of how long it will take. And of course, all of us keeping our patience in check. It's hard to only see the small steps forward. Each and every day I was there I wanted to walk into the ICU and see that they had taken her off the vent. In my mind I knew this wasn't possible, but in my heart I know ANYTHING is possible. They've lowered her breaths per minute and even lowered her oxygen to 50%, but she had a minor setback yesterday (vtach) and her oxygen had to be increased to 60%. They did move her over to SIM-V on the vent which means the machine will breathe for her but if she requests a breath it will give it to her. I spoke with her nurse this evening and she is definitely overbreathing the machine (machine is set at 10 breaths, she is taking 15 - 20).

I left to come home on Friday morning. I did very well holding emotions in check all week, until Thursday night. I didn't want to come home and cried on Dad's shoulder for a little while. Then I switched to my brother Rusty's shoulder. It was good to see my kidlets when I got home though. Mallory has been very concerned about how sick Mimi is and it's hard not to cry when I'm talking to her. To be honest, the longer I am home the harder it is to be here. But I know that I need to help Shawn take care of the kidlets. We'll just take the progress and setbacks day by day, knowing that all of our friends and family are praying for her. That's all we can do.